Disclaimer: BC Movers does not endorse or support or any of the views included. These have been assembled from a dozen different professional movers and years of experience. This post is meant to be funny and relieve some stress (hopefully). Read at your own discretion.

1) A“small” move fills a 5 ton truck.
2) Bad access sets the mood for the day.
3) The customer hears everything you say. Loose lips, sink ships.
4) Guaranteed tip equals disappointment
5) People think movers aren’t smart.

6) If you need to move a piano, movers are very smart.
7) Movers think people that can’t move things have a low IQ.
8) Cheap is better than quality
9) Cheap prices attract flies.
10) We’re here because the last company was “too” cheap.
11) If everything is so cheap to move, is it cheap to buy?
12) If there are no tools, you hired a cheap moving company.
13) Truck broke down due to cheap prices.
14) Everyone has a different technique.
15) Every technique is better than the other.
16) Best technique is determined by majority.
17) Majority is the guy in charge.
18) Customers never answer phone on moving day
19.1) Beware: Freelance movers work for themselves. 19.2) Freelance movers work for cash, not job security.
20) Freelance movers have 40 different uniforms. Sometimes they wear the wrong one.
21) In case you don’t have a problem, freelance movers know everything.
22) No one likes freelance movers.
23) There are no English Literature graduates on the crew.
24) There are no graduates on the crew.
25) Average education used to be grade 9.
26) Today’s average education is youtube.
27) New guy sits in the middle.
28) People who can’t keep a job, do moving.
29) Lazy movers drape pads over furniture in the truck.
30) Good movers wrap furniture inside the house before being moved
31) There are no “boxes,” only cartons.
32) Travel time is difficult to explain.
33) Hidden costs are hidden.
34) Sometimes driver’s math is wrong, hidden costs are always correct.
35) Swamper always leaves equipment behind.
36) there is no such thing as damaged furniture
37) If there is damage, rule in article () applies.
38) If rule () doesn’t apply, hide the evidence.
39) Bad swamper walks away from the truck while backing up.
40) Unintelligent swamper stands between the object and truck.
41) Smart swamper says “he’s not paid to be the driver.”
42) Swampers know more than drivers, that’s why they don’t have to drive.
43) There will always be some drama when swampers and drivers are together.
44) It’s a work hazard to remove shoes.
45) Movers feet stink.
46) Movers and pseudo musicians have a lot in common, neither of them have any training.
47) Websites about moving service aren’t accurate.
48) Pictures of friendly looking crew are family and friends.
49) Real movers don’t like “mug shots.”
50) Being honest is the more difficult than being normal.
51) Movers like to be normal.
52) “I didn’t see it” is the first rule.
53) Driver’s have to be jerks. It makes them look important.
54) Every house is lightly furnished.
55) People think if they say there’s less stuff, that it’ll actually cost less.
56) No one had any idea about the walkup
57) A couple of stairs means 5 switch-back flights to the penthouse.
58) Writing a review is like a bad virus. People avoid it.
59) Referrals don’t apply to moving.
60) Great move, no review.
61) Unsatisfactory move, full review.
62) Final check means something got left behind.
63) Movers are never late.
64) Truck got lost means lunch at McDonalds.
65) No smart phones in the truck. No GPS.
66) If the mover smells like alcohol its because he drank.
67) Don’t tip movers with alcohol.
68) Moving isn’t a magic carpet ride.
69) A three bedroom home cannot be moved in 3 hours.
70) Movers are late because someone slept in or didn’t show up.
71) Movers aren’t like politicians, they can’t lie easily.
72) It’s obvious when a mover is lying.
73) Movers are not stupid, just slightly illiterate.
74) If your driver thinks he’s Mario Andretti your stuff is at risk.
75) Driver’s should have been action heroes in the movies.
76) Real movers don’t eat sushi.
77) If there’s any casualty to your property, don’t worry, everything’s an easy fix.
78) Disassembly requires re-re-re-assembly.
79) Cheap movers don’t assemble things, nevermind re-assembly.
80) Labelling things is a stereotype.
81) Parking tickets are always a surprise.
82) Movers know at some point you’ll have to hire them.
83.1) Before: “It shouldn’t take thaaat long… we don’t have much stuff” 83.2) After: “I can’t believe how much stuff we have.”
84) The movers double booked because the other customer is paying more.
85) “The truck is on the way,” means we’re over booked and don’t know when the truck will be there.
86) When customer does packing get ready to move a thousand small boxes that don’t stack
87) Customer packed large boxes weigh a ton.
88) Don’t use padded blankets as long as nothing gets scratched.
89) Only glass is kicked into place on the truck.
90) We are relocation engineers not movers.
91) Movers need cash everyday.
92) The truck is your second home, at times, your only home.
93) More teeth equals less experience.
94) Deodorant is a myth.
95) There is only one superstar, the dispatch guy.
96) Rates are comparable to nothing. You get what you get.
97) Cheaper hourly rate does not mean you will pay less.
98) Didn’t hear, doesn’t mean it wasn’t said.
99) Movers that care about your belongings are worth re-hiring.
100) Students are the best movers. They work the most for the least.